The Workout Plan
by asksillysisters
Summary: So I'm a gym rat. Yeah, I sweat a lot. Yeah, I eat a lot, and really weird combinations too. My brain and mouth aren't the best at communicating with each other. My best friend calls me a sweaty monkey. Damnit, I just want a girlfriend!


Anna grunted, sweat pouring down her face as she finished her last rep with a wobble. Stepping back, she let the barbell drop into the catch with a sharp clang.

"Sloppy finish, monkeyface." the tall, broad-shouldered blonde man sitting nearby, remarked with a grin. "You'll throw your back out. Again. Then who's gonna pick up the slack on the girls' team?

"No big deal." Anna countered, mopping her face with a towel. "Throw on a wig and some short shorts and I'm sure you can fool everyone just fine, Krissie!" Dropping her towel unceremoniously on his head, she grabbed her duffel bag. "Lunch? There's a big ol' tuna and peanut butter sandwich with my name on it at the cafeteria."

"Well, damn, I was hungry until you reminded me of your gross taste in sandwiches." Kristoff shrugged, making a gagging noise. "For real, I gotta get back to the house. Homework, new freshmen hazing, Herc's weekly arm wrestling contest." Smacking his fist into an open palm, he shook his head. "I've totally got his number this week!"

"You might if you ever worked up the guts to ask him for it." Anna laughed, bumping his shoulder playfully with her bag as he made to stand up.

"Says the useless lesbian who made googly eyes at that one equipment inventory girl for three months straight. You know, oriental, short, black hair? What was her name..."

"Shut up, so I didn't ask!" Anna glowered, socking him in the shoulder.

Laughing while wincing, Kristoff followed the strawberry blonde past the line of treadmills towards the exit. "Maybe it's for the best, my chicken legs and your big ol' nose aren't doing us any favors in the romance department. Sophomore slump means more time to train, eat, and sleep like the dead!"

"Uh huh, keep telling yourself that, sweetie. I swear I'm gonna get a girlfriend this year, big ol' nose be damned!" Pausing, she groaned at the sweat-stained leg press on her right. "Freaking unhygenic morons, tell you what..." she grumbled, grabbing a spray bottle and cleaning the machine before continuing towards the door.

"You sound pretty sure! I dunno, I don't buy it."

"I'm serious as hell, Krissie!" Glancing towards the check-in counter, Anna's next sentence caught in her throat. Platinum blonde hair in a single, waist-length braid. Cerulean eyes squinting at a stack of forms with an adorable little tongue poking out in consternation. What the hell? How could anybody look that adorable filling out equipment rental forms?  
It had to be illegal. "Right there, I'm gonna ask her out. Right now." she stated, gesturing towards the front desk.

"Oh boy, you do know it's her first day here, right? Don't scare her off or anything, the school pays student employees little enough as it is." Kristoff laughed, slapping her on the back for luck.

"Yeah yeah, thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom." Nervously tucking a few stray locks of hair behind her ears, she turned to her friend. "How do I look?"

"Like a sweaty monkey."

Roughly pulling her hair out of its messy bun, she pushed her short bangs back. "Now?!"

"Like a sweaty monkey that fell out of a tree."

Anna groaned. "Whatever, just you watch me get her number!"

"Hey, maybe she has a thing for sweaty monkeys!" Kristoff called after the red head. Anna turned around briefly to flip him off with a smug grin, taking several steps backwards before whirling around.

_"Okay, there she is." _Anna thought nervously, clutching her bag tighter_. "Just walk up to her and compliment her. No, no, don't do that right away! She'll think you were a mega creep staring at her all day! Ask her what forms she's filling out. Oh yeah, then what, volunteer to help her fill them out? That's not freaking weird at all."_ Anna felt her stomach grow queasy and was suddenly hyper self conscious about how much she was sweating. The girl at the counter finished filling out the last form and set it in the tray, turning to the CD player to change the disc_. "Shit, I'm walking too fast! I'm almost there! Think, THINK! Don't just STARE AT HER EAR! Even if it is the smallest ear you've ever...oh hey that's a cute earring. Oh shit, she's staring. She's staring. What's she saying? TURN OFF YOUR STUPID MONKEY BRAIN AND BE NORMAL FOR FIVE SECONDS ANNA!"_ Her chest began to heave as she took ragged, wheezing breaths, clinging to her bag as if it was a life preserver.

"Are you...are you okay?" the young woman asked, hand reaching towards the phone on the desk. "Do you need water? You're sweating an awful lot...do you, do you need a doctor?"

Anna's mind froze. Her mouth opened. "Yeah I need a doctor because a robber stole my heart I mean you're a thief! NO WAIT, I'm under arrest because you're so beautiful SHIT! No no, wait not you shit! I mean, god, I was watching you filling out those forms but not super long or creepy and do you like peanut butter and tuna sandwiches? I'm going to go get some to eat. Sandwiches I mean, not forms." Slapping both hands roughly over her mouth, Anna let out a muffled scream of frustration as she barged through the exit using her shoulder. Bolting down the hall, doom and gloom ran through her head. _"That's it, I quit! I'm going to shove stupid sandwiches in my stupid face all weekend so stupid things don't come out of it!"_

The young woman at the counter stared, mouth slightly agape. Tapping her pen against the counter thoughtfully, she mumbled, "Should've recorded that, I think there might have been a compliment for me somewhere in there."

"I can give you her number if you want to find out." Kristoff remarked, stepping up to the counter with a resigned smirk on his face.

"Oh...okay. Is she always...uh..."

"An awkward, sweaty monkey?" Kristoff grinned affectionately, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah."

"Do you think she'd be embarrassed if I called her?"

"Totally."

The young woman grinned, extending her lithe hand. "What's her address, then? I'm Elsa, by the way."

Smiling at her candor, Kristoff shook her hand, snickering. "Your shift ends in half an hour, right? She should be back in her room by then; we can go scare the hell out her together."

"I don't want to scare the hell out of her!" Elsa insisted, blushing. "Though she is cute when she gets all flustered like that."

"Oh I can tell you and I are gonna get along great." Kristoff finished, laughing.


End file.
